This one went out strictly as email to subscribers -- until now of course. It really pissed a lot of people off, and was highly effective in our continued drive to reduce subscriptions.< Zero-Value-Added > Dear [#insert First_Name], As a Valued Subscriber to EGR, we know how important it is to you to keep up with every trivial nuance of our informative and self-serving "web-zine." Dangling modifier or not, we're sure you'll want to read on, [#insert First_Name], for some Important Information! Only 50 shy of our First-1000-Subscribers milestone, we are about to prepare a Commemorative Issue Honoring Eleven Months of Nearly Uninterrupted Publication. It goes without saying that we owe our success to the wonderful personal relationships we've had the privilege of establishing with readers like you, [#insert First_Name]. Meanwhile, we thought we'd remind those of you who normally read EGR exclusively in email to ***WAKE THE FUCK UP*** and go check out the website: http://www.rageboy.com There have been some additions that just won't translate into ASCII email. Among these is a Special Issue titled "EGR Sells Out!!!" -- of which RB comments: "RageBoy want mojo gris-gris advertising Ju-Ju. RageBoy want now!" On a not particularly related front, EGR recently joined the Amazon.com Associates Program. This was entirely inspired by our stumbling upon a book we're sure you'll all want to get your hands on ASAP. Weighing in at what looks to be about 1000 pages, "Idaho for the Curious" is a must-have travel guide to this often under- appreciated geographical gem. Given that it was published 15 years ago, we hope we're not too late in alerting readers to this unusual literary value. Yes, EGR gets a percentage of the Amazon sale price; to order (and Show Your Support), just click on the book title at the top of our page. We've also picked up a couple of new web awards, those clever mechanisms for increasing traffic to somebody else's site. One is the "Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh" award for Funniest Site on the Net, at which we actually took some offense. We calmed down when we realized that it's given by an unfortunate human being so dependent on tranquilizers that he can say "The beauty of the infomercial is that there are no commercial interruptions." The other is "The URL Spider's Best of the Web," about which there isn't a lot to say since it doesn't say anything. Howard Greenstein gave us a nice review in Larry Chase's Web Digest For Marketers, in which he says "If you can digest all of RageBoy's angry prose, we have some James Joyce for you to translate into ancient Incan." We were touched. If you haven't looked lately, there's a lot more of this sort of thing on our "Awards, Reviews and Hot Links" page at: http://www.rageboy.com/links.html And while you're poking around in there, you might also have a look at the kind of vilification we continually receive -- and publish -- in EGR's "Flames & Kudos" section: http://www.rageboy.com/feedback.html One recent favorite was an accidentally cc'd reply from someone who had clearly gotten a pass-along issue of EGR from one of you: "Hey Ray - Thanks for the thought, but this is a little too dada for me! I just send on the tamest jokes my internet professor neighbor has purged for me." ...DUH! As if all this weren't enough, we've added a new feature in which the mysterious RageGirl -- appearing courtesy of Kognitive Enterprises of New Jersey -- answers all your most pressing questions about Love, Work, and Internet Click-Thru. Send her some email and see what a REAL psychic can do for your professional edge. Finally, don't miss the microscopic type at the very bottom of the EGR homepage: "boring legal stuff." The "Terms of Service" document you will find there includes some crucially important data of which every EGR Irregular should be aware. Until we get around to writing another actual issue, here's to Happy Surfing, [#insert First_Name], and Continuing Success with that Real Exciting Merchandising Plan... Sincerely, The Management
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This is the greatest electronic newsletter ever created. If you think so too, it's free. If you don't think so, the annual subscription rate is $1000. Either way, to subscribe send email to email@example.com saying simply subscribe on a single line in the BODY of the message. Or, go to http://www.rageboy.com/sub-up.html where it will tell you to do the same thing. No Animals Will Be Harmed in the Making of This Subscription.
Entropy Gradient Reversals CopyLeft Christopher Locke firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.rageboy.com
"reality leaves a lot to the imagination..." John Lennon
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