elizabeth lane lawley
michael "OC" clarke
e v h e a d
sweet fancy moses
wood s lot
m. melting object
Friday, February 06, 2004
in Boulder's bullshit utopia
"do you remember your ma and pa?
just wishing for movie stardom.
always... always... playing a part."
remember / john lenon
A few months after I moved to Boulder for the third time, JonBenét Ramsey was murdered in her home on University Hill, just a few miles from where I'm writing this. The child disappeared a long time ago. There is no child. What happened to her, and the circus of incompetent megalomania surrounding her death, forms a perfect icon of this perfect town. And what it represents as America's leading export.
||"All my friends live in Boulder," she said. "If you don't like it here, why do you stay?"
The following quotes are intimately linked. They speak out of the presumptuous, privileged silence in whose foul and willing darkness this cancer eats away at the soul of the world.
"The [beauty] pageants were Patsy [Ramsey]'s gig. JonBenét was her alter ego. Patsy had the money, she had the costumes, and she had the kid. She could relive her own pageant thing. You got the picture right there. Patsy didn't have a sense of proportion about how this should fit into her child's life. What I saw on the pageant video... you don't do that to a six-year-old." [p. 76]
"When we recognize the objective nature of the soul, so that we may love it without becoming caught in solipsistic self-absorption, we can love ourselves as Narcissus did, as Other. Even the ego can be experienced this way. We know our habits, our weaknesses, our strengths, our quirks. Looking at them with interest and love does not have to be narcissistic. In fact, an awareness of the qualities of soul -- the distance Narcissus feels from his love object -- may help transform narcissism into genuine love of self....
The myth also teaches us something else: that narcissism is a piece of a larger scheme of transformation. In the story, the scene shifts from woods to underworld, the character from human to flower, that is, from person to object. I see in this a movement away from human subjectivity and into nature. Narcissism heals itself away from loneliness into creation: in our narcissism we wound nature and make things that cannot be loved, but when our narcissism is transformed, the result is the love of self that engenders a sense of union with all of nature and things. You might say that we then have a shared narcissism, a mutual self-love, a kind of mystical consanguinity among all creatures. Not shying away from mysticism, we might say that symptomatic narcissism can only be healed when it becomes a genuine religious virtue. All human symptoms and problems, when they are taken to their depth and realized in a soulful way, find their ultimate solution in a religious sensibility....
The narcissist can be hard and cruel, even as he or she suffers harsh self-criticism. But when the 'dual realm' [a reference to a Rilke quote too trivial to include] is discovered and Narcissus lies at the pool in touch with his otherness, then the lasting eternal, unperturbed depths provide grounding and confidence. They also take the sharp edge off narcissism's sadism, for there is mildness in the waters of self-discovery. As Narcissus we are no longer marblelike in our attempts to at self-preservation; rather, we become more like the flower whose roots are deep and whose indulgent beauty is grounded, enjoying the honest humility of nature." [pp. 74-75]
"I rounded a corner in the police department and literally bumped into [Boulder] Chief [of Police, Tom] Koby. Back from Texas, he looked fit, tanned, and rested and asked how the
[JonBenét Ramsey] case was going. I told him we had probable cause to make an arrest but were stymied by the DA's office. Koby was carrying a pair of grannie glasses and a book, Care of the Soul, and observed that the Ramsey matter was 'an encounter between good and evil' and I was a 'warrior of the light.' He promised that 'the light will prevail.'" [p. 198]
2:15 AM | link |
get your badge here.
"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
28 October 2004
||More of Chris Locke's photos
Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of.
I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos."
It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.
what I'm listening to...
egr on topica
on yahoo groups
terms of service
It is too late.