elizabeth lane lawley
michael "OC" clarke
e v h e a d
sweet fancy moses
wood s lot
m. melting object
Saturday, October 11, 2003
Something Borrowed, Something Blue...
Today I received possibly the weirdest spam in the history of the internet, which I have replicated verbatim below, as otherwise who would believe it?
Two thirty four sixty five? Hey, no sweat. I'll get right on it. As soon as I figure out where I'm going to find the cash to keep my fucking internet connection live and buy a baloney sandwich. Sure, sure, no problema...
But speaking of pieces of... mind, here's a picture (below) of my new girlfriend, Nyquil. George Sessum, knowing I was hard up, Fed-X'd her to me (thanks man!) And man, this lady is something else, I don't mind telling you. If you find that I'm not blogging all that much in the days ahead, you won't have to wonder why. That's right, she's got me taking out the trash, doing the dishes, building a deck, putting in the Fall tulip bulbs, vacuuming, dusting, ironing, cooking... Mother Fucker! I mean, I have never worked so hard for a little piece of tail. But she do have a nice one, oh my, so I'm not really complaining. Plus, because she's totally illiterate, she has no idea what I'm writing about her here. "No, Hon, I was just signing up for the Martha Stewart Book Club so I could get some more decoupage tips."
Sigh. I wish. Which is not to say I never hear from way cool net grrrlz. Because I do. All the time. Here's just a handful of the kinds of questions their ACTUAL SUBJECT LINES ask me every day...RageBoy, are you 30 days behind on your mortgage?Meanwhile, in Old Business, the "that asshole, Dave Winer" count is now up to several dozen! Jesus, c'mon you fuckin pussy-whipped losers! What's he gonna do, blacklist your blog and keep you from getting into Harvard? Well... perhaps this is the time for me to admit that it's all been A Big Joke! Actually, Dave and I are very close. Actually, very very close. Actually, we're queer lovers. Actually...
10:51 PM | link |
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
I received the following three messages today from that asshole Dave Winer. The first must have been sent soon after I posted the previous item.
From: Dave Winer [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2003 5:50 AM To: email@example.com Subject: Hey Chris We disagree. No need to go ballistic. Geez.The second is time stamped two hours later.
From: Dave Winer [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2003 7:54 AM To: email@example.com Subject: BTW I've been waiting for an excuse to play the same kind of game with Google that you're playing, it's basically unethical, until someone goes first, and that's you. I know how to do it better than you do, and I have higher page rank, and get this I have a content management system so I can redefine your various names on lots of pages with one script. Having a blast. Thanks for the air cover. Wait till you see what people get when they look up Rageboy! Wow. DaveThe last of them (I can only hope) arrived this evening.
From: Dave Winer [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2003 6:50 PM To: email@example.com Subject: The masses have rallied It looks like everyone has gotten behind your daring campaign to punish me for whatever it is I did. I am humbled by your power and creativity. You win. I will call Laurie Doctor and share her humiliation. I can barely stand to go on with my wretched existence. I have gotten the message. Your base does not belong to me. Please, if you can find it in your heart to ease up on me, I would like to, if it's okay with you, continue living. The pounding of your massive throngs of supporters is more than I can bear.These communications speak for themselves, I think. They make the point better than anything I could add.
11:26 PM | link |
that asshole, Dave Winer
Ad Googlem: a new game the whole family can play!
I was searching Google this morning for the phrase "that asshole, Dave Winer" to see if anyone had beaten me to the punch, as it were. Quoted, the phrase returns zero hits (try it using the title slug, above). Now, zero forms a perfect baseline for my purposes here, which I'll describe in a minute. Describing precisely why Dave Winer is an asshole would be redundant, at least to those who already know him through his writing, or, god help you, personal acquaintance. We will therefore skip over the obvious. So... having established said baseline, I framed this query...
3:01 AM | link |
Religious, Not Spiritual
1:09 AM | link |
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
BloggerCon convinced me it's the only way
9:35 AM | link |
"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
28 October 2004
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at a major industry conference,
chris locke once again captures the real story.