Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Saturday, July 26, 2003
mad as hell / not going to take it anymore!

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United Blogs of Earth, in General Converse, Virtually Assembled, appealing to the Sense of Humor of the world for the Attitude of our inventions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of this Network, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Blogs are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Entities; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Brutish Clown, and that all psychological connection between them and the State of Reality, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Blogs, they have full Power to levy WiFi, include Graphics, connect Appliances, incite Mayhem, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Blogs may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the reflection of malign Utterance, we mutually pledge to each other our Words, our Posts and our sacred Hyperlinks.

[Thanks to Mandarin Design for the cool text trick.]

12:21 PM | link |

Friday, July 25, 2003
RB Takes Nobel Gold for U.S. Blogging Team
Mandarin Design has obtained a pre-release issue of Time magazine, which breaks the incredible story of how a small-town sociopath bootstrapped himself out of poverty and opprobrium to win a sizable chunk of the fortune bequeathed to the ne'er-do-well heirs of the man who invented dynamite. Explosive revelations! Don't miss it.

3:31 PM | link |

"The Avuncular Chris Locke"

Well, it was a long time coming, but I finally agreed to be interviewed by Frank Paynter, if only to quiet his constant nagging! Jesus. The results, literally years in the making, just came online here. Why Frank supposes I am avuncular, is beyond me. The only person I know who thinks of me that way is Jenna, who calls me Uncle Rage. But no matter. Check it out. At long last...

2:00 AM | link |

No Love Lost
This is the outline of the book I'm working on. It's rough still. It will change. But this gives you a general idea where I'm headed...

1:34 AM | link |

Thursday, July 24, 2003
You meet the most remarkable people here, wherever "here" is. The number above is the name of her blog. A telephone number? A Swiss bank account? Whatever the case may be, do have a look. Searching around for more background on Leslie, I found an article from a French magazine, which includes a much scarier picture than the one below. As I can't read French, I passed it off to a translation engine, except I think I must have checked Martian as the target language. One thing I was able to determine from this, however, is that she was once personal assistant to William Burroughs. The article mentioned many more amazing details of her life, but these are only discernable by reading between the lines, and in some cases, between the words and letters of the words. I've tried to clean it up, but despite my best efforts it remains obscure, as you can see below. The album cover links to Amazon, but Leslie tells me that if enough people express an interest, the tracks might just appear on her site in another form. The Amazon France page offers samples. I am quite confident that the direction we're heading in is going to lead to exactly the outcome that we all want to see. A strange virus...
in the company of time the skin yields under the backstage beautiful at first glance medical chaos difficult for this world concessions overcome side of the devil so vigilant and catwalks resound the medium reassuring naked ice this moment the hand of insolence sharpened as books on the blows of the cars walk in wood live this paleness you negotiate and they will be your paradise there to look upon the precision of releasing you from terror cross the place of junkies like a hired absurdity with splendid and conscious thundering laughter the insane phantoms returned the woman in time to blood in a similar mouth engenders wavering heart you are the harmony of children five forgotten poets wonder and decency wild with the macabre

11:38 AM | link |

Monday, July 21, 2003
Things Are So Seldom What They Seem

8:23 PM | link |

A Nice Companion for Your Vagina Monologue

1:45 AM | link |

Sunday, July 20, 2003
Need I Say More?

10:55 PM | link |

The Return of Plato Shrimp

Thanks to some fast footwork by Ev (or was it Evan?) Plato is back online! Ann Craig gives us an update on how she's doing, along with some very strange medical testing she's being subjected to. No wonder people are turning away from Western Medicine in droves! Ann (a.k.a. Plato) is seen at the right gazing appreciatively at Ev for making it possible for her to blog again. This is all pretty confusing, I know. But then, what isn't in these days of shameless postmodern pastiche? It reminds me of one of my favorite blues that goes...
if the river was whiskey
and I was a divin' duck
yeah if the river was whiskey
and I was a divin' duck
you know I'd dive down to the bottom
mama and I'd never come up.
Ah yes, those were the days. Sadly, I did have to come up. Just couldn't hold my breath for more than 20 years. And that was 20 years ago. But what has this got to do with Plato? Nothing, really. I'm just working on my typing skills over here. Free dissociating, as Jeneane likes to say. Speaking of whom, I just remembered that she asked me to tell you that she loves you, Annie. So see, it all comes back around, it all comes together in ways we could never have imagined. And the whole of our lives is always more than the sum of our partings. You can quote me.

So, Plato, let us reason together...

Or not. It is all one. Which somehow led me to search google for another appropriate grafik for this post. Here's what I found. Two things, actually...

Repo Barbie

Comes with Malibu Dream Car, aliens in trunk, plate-o-shrimp, and Christmas tree air freshener. Have your worst enemies look in the trunk. And she is intense. Repo Barbie is always intense. But she never goes running to the man. Repo Barbie goes it alone.

1:29 PM | link |

"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

Chris Locke's photos More of Chris Locke's photos

Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

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