elizabeth lane lawley
michael "OC" clarke
e v h e a d
sweet fancy moses
wood s lot
m. melting object
Saturday, July 05, 2003
Pictures At An Exhibition
8:27 PM | link |
Believe it or not, I began my day reading this book. For all the good it did me. An old friend from high school (...yeah, that's it, high school; in Mozambique) just rang me up and called me every kind of asshole there is. Maybe I should have started with something simpler, like Emily Post's The Gift of Good Manners: A Parent's Guide to Raising Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children or maybe The Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success or even Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome: How to Stop Being Shy Without Becoming A Jerk. Because that's my real problem (though I've never let on here): I'm horribly shy. If you've never experienced extreme shyness, let me tell you: it's a real a bitch. And you see, I overcompensate for it by pretending to be a bad person and telling you all to kiss my ever-lovin ass. Underneath, though, I'm a regular cream puff. Your Mom would probably like me.
3:55 PM | link |
Real Writers Don't Waste The Entire Morning Posting Stupid Shit On Their Blogs When They Could Be Explicating Authentic Insights For The Online Masses Thus Welding Them Into A Tight-Knit And Unstoppable Force For Evil
Perhaps I've had a change of heart. Ever think of that? Or I'm lying again. Much more likely.
10:17 AM | link |
Burning Birds Don't Burst Into Flames
Well... sometimes. But they're working on it.
10:11 AM | link |
Real Chickens Don't Wonder
And no wonder!
10:09 AM | link |
Real Theologians Don't Doubt It
At least I doubt it.
10:07 AM | link |
Real Poles Don't Polarize
...except when sneaking past the Jesus Bunker. Or the Berlin Wall. (When are you going to stop squatting on Gonzo Engaged and get your own fucking blog back up? You hoser!)
10:05 AM | link |
Real Alpha Babes Don't Tell
Boys, be careful. Be very careful. It's all misdirection so she can have her way with you!
10:03 AM | link |
Real Movers Don't Shake
In grateful recognition of a steady hand at the keyboard and courage under fire.
10:01 AM | link |
Real Hoovers Don't Suck
Plato, where are you? Blogger gave us 100 meg to fuck around with. Upload something, quick! But I realize you must be busy finding work in Seattle. Yes, the life of repo girl is always intense.
9:58 AM | link |
Real Winers Don't Dine
And vice versa. (Yes, I heard what happened at that Boston blog conference wrap-up dinner. Poor Jason. Whew!)
9:52 AM | link |
Real Lawyers Don't Discuss Cases
Especially head cases.
9:49 AM | link |
Real Rappers Don't Digitally Identify
They digitally signify, motherfucka! And why you no calla me up, you bastard!
9:47 AM | link |
Real Small Pieces Don't Loosely Join
Something about statutory rape. Or the statute of limitations. Or both. Clearly, it's not entirely clear. I think we need a little more hermeneutic exegesis on this point.
9:44 AM | link |
Real Brides-to-Be Don't Accept Invitations to "Bachelorette" Parties In Boulder
Oh, Donna, where can you be? Where. Can. You. Be?
9:40 AM | link |
Real Painters Don't Eat The Cadmium Orange
Frankly, I have not been Paynted. All part of my effort to remain mysterious. Which seems to have failed anyway. Or to have worked only too well.
9:37 AM | link |
Real Analysts Don't Turn Into Cockroaches!
Watch this space for why this sometimes does happen. (Jesus, what have I gotten myself into now?)
9:32 AM | link |
Real Docs Don't Bite
9:30 AM | link |
Real Dogs Don't Bark
...unless you forget to cut their balls off.
9:28 AM | link |
Real Women Don't Rip Your Heart Out And Take A Bite Then Make An Ugly Face And Throw It Away Because It Isn't "Organic" And Leave You Broken And Bleeding Just To Make Themselves Feel Better About Their Empty Frozen Hearts
Just one man's off-the-cuff opinion.
8:44 AM | link |
Real Men Don't Blog
8:43 AM | link |
Thursday, July 03, 2003
The System of Antichrist: Truth & Falsehood in Postmodernism and the New Age
Browsing the New Age section of Barnes & Noble this evening, my eye alit on this gem. Only a recent and radical lack of funds (see various banners above; hint-hint) kept me from buying it. One Amazon reader-reviewer (the only one) writes:
"Charles Upton provides a unique interpretation of the modern phenomenon of UFOs. To Upton, UFO sightings and alien abductions constitute a particularly disturbing aspect of the postmodern world. Upton contends that perhaps we can understand these aliens as spiritual beings, the jinn of Islamic folklore or the demons of Christian tradition. Upton notes that not all of these entities may be evil or necessarily harmful; however, since without a traditional understanding it is impossible to determine this, they should be avoided."I see.
However, I was gratified to find that another reader had posted the following on the same page: "1 person recommended Green Eggs and Ham instead of The System of Antichrist: Truth & Falsehood in Postmodernism and the New Age.
9:21 PM | link |
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
Chernobyl Is Burning
In 1990 I saw film that was shot inside the Chernobyl nuclear power plant after it had gone critical. To my knowledge, no one outside the small group of robotics researchers at Carnegie Mellon University, with whom I watch it, has ever seen this footage. The Russian official who brought it over had to get special one-time permission from his government to show it. It wasn't the kind of documentary governments are fond of sharing. Hundreds of Russian soldiers were sent into the collapsed structure to pull out hot debris with their bare hands. They all died. Most of them slowly. Most of them, I imagine, wished it had gone more quickly.
11:16 AM | link |
Monday, June 30, 2003
If This Made Me Laugh, Does It Mean I'm Homophobic?
5:15 PM | link |
Under the Influence?
Actually, I've spent some time in the "world where love and power walk hand in hand," and frankly, you can keep it. What I want to know is: what's the attraction of Ghost Ranch for these shaman chicks? They all seem to end up there sooner or later. Maybe it's like some New Age elephant graveyard. But that's cool. I always did want to meet a "shaman" who looked like Dolly Parton, only more airbrushed. And crows too! What's up with that?
4:50 PM | link |
"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
28 October 2004
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at a major industry conference,
chris locke once again captures the real story.