Believe it or not, I began my day reading this book. For all the good it did me. An old friend from high school (...yeah, that's it, high school; in Mozambique) just rang me up and called me every kind of asshole there is. Maybe I should have started with something simpler, like Emily Post's The Gift of Good Manners: A Parent's Guide to Raising Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children or maybe The Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success or even Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome: How to Stop Being Shy Without Becoming A Jerk. Because that's my real problem (though I've never let on here): I'm horribly shy. If you've never experienced extreme shyness, let me tell you: it's a real a bitch. And you see, I overcompensate for it by pretending to be a bad person and telling you all to kiss my ever-lovin ass. Underneath, though, I'm a regular cream puff. Your Mom would probably like me.

And your little DOG, too!

Abe sure was right about one thing: you just can't please all the fucking people all the fucking time.

"Charles Upton provides a unique interpretation of the modern phenomenon of UFOs. To Upton, UFO sightings and alien abductions constitute a particularly disturbing aspect of the postmodern world. Upton contends that perhaps we can understand these aliens as spiritual beings, the jinn of Islamic folklore or the demons of Christian tradition. Upton notes that not all of these entities may be evil or necessarily harmful; however, since without a traditional understanding it is impossible to determine this, they should be avoided."

However, I was gratified to find that another reader had posted the following on the same page: "1 person recommended Green Eggs and Ham instead of The System of Antichrist: Truth & Falsehood in Postmodernism and the New Age.

In 1990 I saw film that was shot inside the Chernobyl nuclear power plant after it had gone critical. To my knowledge, no one outside the small group of robotics researchers at Carnegie Mellon University, with whom I watch it, has ever seen this footage. The Russian official who brought it over had to get special one-time permission from his government to show it. It wasn't the kind of documentary governments are fond of sharing. Hundreds of Russian soldiers were sent into the collapsed structure to pull out hot debris with their bare hands. They all died. Most of them slowly. Most of them, I imagine, wished it had gone more quickly.

There was no way to put out the radioctive fire set off by that accident. The Russians buried it under hundreds of tons of concrete, creating a structure they call the sarcophagus. Deep inside this dark tomb, Chernobyl is still burning and will continue to burn for a thousand years.

Should we move on after our tragedies? See them not as tragedies at all, but as learning experiences? Should we freeze them in time, encase them in cement, hoping we'll forget, waiting till the statute of limitations on our grief ticks over one last heart-wrenching turn and finally elapses?

My rage is alive. I warm myself by its poison hearth. Some mistakes were not mistakes. Better planning would not have helped. And forgiveness will be a long time coming.

Actually, I've spent some time in the "world where love and power walk hand in hand," and frankly, you can keep it. What I want to know is: what's the attraction of Ghost Ranch for these shaman chicks? They all seem to end up there sooner or later. Maybe it's like some New Age elephant graveyard. But that's cool. I always did want to meet a "shaman" who looked like Dolly Parton, only more airbrushed. And crows too! What's up with that?

"20 year ago, Lynn [Andrews] discovered a sacred gateway into a world of magic and mystery. Then her words created a pathway for us to follow, providing an extrodinary [sic] experience of native spirituality, the feminine aspect of power and the honoring of all life as sacred. Once again this visionary teacher beckons us to enter into the next gateway. And to live in a world where love and power walk hand in hand."

Continuing Education Program Annual Gathering Ghost Ranch, New Mexico September 5 - 9, 2003