Will consult for food. For $100 per hour I'll talk to you on the telephone about serious business stuff. For $40, I'll provide 50 minutes (that's less than a buck a minute!) of my patent-pending form of crypto-surrealist psychotherapy. For $20, I'll insult and berate you for 10 full minutes (you may not interrupt or defend yourself; any backsass I hang up; no refunds). For $5, I'll chat about this and that if you have anything interesting to say. People tend to be most scared of that last one, but you'd be amazed at the range of things I find interesting. Mail RageBoy for personalized payment arrangements. Please indicate your preference: Business, Therapy, Abuse, or Idle Chit-Chat. I been doin this shit for a long fucking time (as you can see below), so your satisfaction is virtually guaranteed. If you are not entirely happy with the results, you can come over here and try to get your money back before I spend it. Good luck.

"When anything can be put on the market with a couple of clicks of a mouse, there will be even more stupid movies, dull books, sloppy data, and bad analyses -- 'infoglut,' in the aptly ugly term of Christopher Locke, editor of Internet Business Report...." Thomas A. Stewart [now editor-in-chief of Harvard Business Review] "Boom Time on the New Frontier" Fortune, September 27 1993 "'Companies in the electronic publishing market are beginning to see they want the largest possible market,' said Christopher Locke, general manager of Mecklermedia, a Westport, Conn., publishing and exhibition company. 'They don't want to be trapped in markets that are Balkanized or private.'" John Markoff "Britannica's 44 Million Words Are Going On Line" The New York Times, February 8 1994 "The [Cluetrain] Manifesto is the pretentious, strident and absolutely brilliant creation of four marketing gurus who have renounced marketing-as-usual.... Mr. Locke, the hub in this network, has a history of getting in early..." Thomas Petzinger, Jr. "Web Rebels Try to Make Managers Talk Like Humans" The Wall Street Journal, April 9 1999 "Mr Locke started in 1993 the Internet Business Report, the first publication to cover what would eventually become the dot.com industry, then sold the idea of what would later be called a 'portal' to one of the web�s first entrepreneurs, Alan Meckler." Chris Anderson [now editor-in-chief of WIRED] "Lost in Cyberspace" The Economist, December 18 1999 Christopher Locke is an Internet industry expert and a coauthor of The Cluetrain Manifesto: The End of Business as Usual (Perseus Books, 2000). He is currently at work on Gonzo Marketing: Winning Through Worst Practices (Perseus Books, 2001). author bio Harvard Business Review, December 2000