Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Thursday, September 25, 2003
Spiritually Intense
Hold the Enlightenment My sister Liz bought me this book today, as she saw I was lusting after it in Boulder Books, a place I hardly ever go these days, as there's no telling whom I might run into there. Or there is telling, but for once I won't. btw, Liz won't read my blog because I haven't read her doctoral dissertation. As she doesn't read my blog, I feel relatively safe in saying, what kind of fucking deal is THAT? I mean, there are JOKES here. Sometimes. And PATHOS! Now and then. And SEX!!! With, a friend informed me only just this evening, disturbingly increasing frequency. I hate to use an adverb and a present participle in such close, if you'll forgive the expression, conjuntion. But... oh what the fuck do you care anyway?

The book is called Hold the Enlightenment (you can see the appeal just from that), and the first graf of the eponymous essay goes a little like this...

"I am not a yoga kinda guy. Yoga people are sensitive, aware, largely sober, slender, double-jointed, humorless vegans who are concerned with their own spiritual welfare and don't hesitate to tell you about it. They are spiritually intense and consequently enormously boring in the manner of folks who, in their own self-absorption, feel you ought to be alerted as to the quantity and texture of their last bowel movement."

However, I was saddened to read the next sentence.

"Or so I used to think."
after my sex-change operation I haven't finished the essay yet, so I don't know how things turn out. Even though the thing is less than seven pages. Because when I got back here this evening, I felt a powerful need to be severely depressed. Then, after the meds kicked in, I... well, I... Now that's odd. I can't remember what I've been doing for the last four hours. It's those goddam fucking aliens again I'll bet. Look, I live in Colorado, OK? You've heard about all the cattle mutilations out this way, right? I guess they decided they needed bigger balls to experiment on. I just hope their sterile technique is up to snuff. And that they don't slip with the scalpel or whatever it is they use on me up there. What I go through for you people. You have no idea. For instance, did I tell you about my sex change operation? I guess I'm still a little reticent about it. Well, here's the After photo. Maybe I'll tell you more later...

11:20 PM | link |

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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

Chris Locke's photos More of Chris Locke's photos

Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

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The Bombast Transcripts

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