Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
Another cup? Why not!

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Monday, April 07, 2003
What Love's Got to Do With It
Guilt hides from what we have done to others. Shame shields us from something deeper: what we have allowed ourselves to become.

Without shame, there is no empathy.

Without the capacity and willingness to look within and see, feel, viscerally experience how and where we are fragile, broken, without the desire and resolve to let go of the dream of perfection in oneself, there is no way to come to caring for another, for others, whose lives are constant reminders that perfection is so much less sustaining than the heart.

Shame is the terrible recognition that we have done this to ourselves. And to each other. Refused to drink from the common cup of life. Remained in the fantasy and turned ever more inward, not to discover some longed-for truth, some final perfect key that would unlock our longing, but rather to hide, to withdraw, to renounce the call of love, which is always to open further, to emerge from hiding, to come out.

This loss of essence and vitality, of life, is a shame. Buried deep in the soul, it becomes malignant fear of discovery, the occasion of secrets even from oneself, obsession with privacy, with what is hidden, the erection and defense of boundaries and borders, false thresholds, doors that open only inward, moats and drawbridges, towers surrounded by impenetrable forests of thorn trees where your sleeping beauty turns, turns restless, unfulfilled, angry and abandoned. No lover will come. No prince to kiss away the hurt you have, uncaring, done yourself.

Even now, I would wake you from this if I could. More than once, I tried and failed. You are gone too deep, too long, beyond my best magic. The perfect prince you wait for now, The One, is Death. When I am able to weep, to pray, I pray He will be kinder than I feel at your betrayal.


3:39 PM | link |



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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.


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