Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Friday, December 20, 2002
Dong Schwing
Frank Paynter has been fucking with my head again. It's true I did agree to be PayntedTM, and this time I actually meant it. Problem is, he's really got me thinking with his questions about Archie & Veronica, Superman and Scrooge McDuck. So much to say there that I've been in a regular psychic fugue composing my reply. Of course, I've been in that state for about a year now. But still. Then he throws some Freudian Pinocchio spin at me and I'm all a-dither with zeitgeistian permutations and modulations on that theme. All of which I am trying to write up tonight behind massive administrations of espresso and anti-anxiety meds. I find they buffer each other rather nicely.

But I wanted to say, before I begin on all that, after finishing Phase I of a Secret Project I've been working on, that Frank's peripatetic penis/nose-lengthening ruminations have got me thinking about creating a new form of psycho-spatial interior design. I figure I'm qualified on the psycho part. The spatial dimension will be derived from the patent-pending mystic intuition that led to the organization of my hovel here at EGR World HQ. I call it Dong Schwing, after the apocryphal Taoist alchemist, Dong-Tu-Long-Doobie-Du-Down-Down, who first decided to throw shit randomly all over his meditation cave. Stay tuned for more on this late-breaking story.

Meanwhile, since there are so few Shopping Days left until the reenactment of the Baby Jesus being whelped into a manger in an area of the world about to explode with 1000-year-old internecine hatreds whipped to a frenzy by US arms dealers and oil companies, here's something apropos you can still send to your favorite artiste or cybercrone...

Product Description: Flight-tested and ready for your magical journey! Handcrafted in the wiccan tradition from a shaft of gnarled, unpainted corn wood, our witch�s broomstick is often used in handfasting (marriage ceremonies). Unmatched for authenticity! With leather loop.
Handfasting? Gotta be a typo. Nonetheless, this lovely item is from The Pyramid Collection, under the category Wiccan Way. But do browse around; there's so much more. Lots of Celtic shit, Goddess paraphernalia, Crystals, Tarot, SuperHot Tantrick Sex Videos. Something for all the New Age wackos on your list. More to come on this front too. How could I resist such a treasure trove of endemic self-estemic delusion.

Also, since I seem to be on some sort of roll here (the espresso is winning), I missed a phone message from Doc Searls last night. We now communicate exclusively by voice-mail. He's telling me about driving through Malibu in a car that burns more oil than gas, has only one headlight, and whatthefuck is he doing driving through some monster SoCal monsoon anyway? Then he said, and I quote: "I can't even begin to follow what the fuck's going on with your life, man. I don't even know. I just know it's incredible to watch. It is just... It is a trip. Whatever is going on with you, man, it is a trip. And maybe not figuring it out is part of the thrill."

As always, Doc gets it.


12:35 AM | link |



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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Chris Locke's photos More of Chris Locke's photos

Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.


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