It is at such moments that I often Google back in time, trying to find some semblance of my former self. Like those notes that guy writes on his body in Memento. "You already had a ham sandwich at 4 o'clock. If it's 5 o'clock now, you are not hungry." Anyway, here's a clip from a piece Jack Schofield wrote about me in The Guardian last May before I lost it. On the edge and trying to stay there. In my line of work, that isn't always easy.

Locke went from MCI to IBM, but there he was forbidden from writing or talking to the press. Bored and frustrated, he started an email newsletter, Entropy Gradient Reversals. That's where RageBoy was born, pouring scorn on his employer, and where Locke developed his voice. EGR was read by internet mavens - it was the only way to find out what he was thinking - but it often had as much or more to say about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. The running gag was RageBoy escaping from his chains, insulting readers, and goading them to unsubscribe, before Locke managed to regain control and apologise, or not.

It was often very funny, sometimes intensely moving, full of ideas, and beautifully written. It was, in short, the sort of thing no conventional publication would allow, but it couldn't be stopped on the web. Locke's response to IBM had been: "I'll write on the web: these people are so dumb, they're never going to find it." They did, of course, but as his boss said, "since you quit 30 seconds ago, I don't think there's anything they can do about it".