Speaking of el dia de los muertos, when my daughter Selene was first born, I bought a papier-mâché Haitian skeleton and hung it over her crib. The in-laws were, needless to say, gassed. Metaphorically, more's the pity. Anyway, it seems to have worked. The rest of my life may be fucked up beyond repair, but at least I know I brought my kid up right. Selene is now twelve (and a half). Tomorrow after school she's taking her Mom to the opening of 8 Mile. Bigtime fan. She signs her mail:

*selene mirage - proud eminem luver*

The body text of that one said: "you didn't blog it you imbecile! grr."

What Selene is referring to involves last night. We went to this restaurant, and as we were going in, she sees a boy who goes to her school. Worse, when we get seated, it seems he's only two tables away.

So Selene says, "You got a pen?"

As it turns out, I do. I give it to her. "You got any paper?" she asks.

I look. "Yeah, here's a Starbucks brochure." Don't ask. "Will that work?"

Here's what she writes:

THINGS TO NOT DO AROUND PEOPLE I KNOW

1. DO NOT talk about anyone from school.
2. DO NOT talk about when I was a little kid.
3. DO NOT talk about drugs, alcohol, or anything you can get high off.
4. DO NOT talk about sex.
5. DO NOT use excessive bad language.
6. DO NOT use any bad language.
7. DO NOT flirt.
8. DO NOT talk in an accent.
9. DO NOT act gay.
10. DO NOT imitate wild animals.
11. DO NOT ask me to foretell the future.

So yo, Selene Mirage: I want to go to that 4 o'clock show with you guys. Grab another ticket off the web.

look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
to seize everything you ever wanted
one moment
would you capture it or just let it slip?



you better lose yourself in the music, the moment
you own it, you better never let it go
you only get one shot, do not
miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo...


thanks to my main nigger
Eric Norlin
for sending the
soundtrack.