Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Sunday, June 02, 2002
It was like November here today. Driving across town at 3:30, the mountains wreathed halfway to their roots in cloud, snow on the ground, raining. Later the sun came out, though it was still cold. Not spring weather at all. Not May. I wish we had a little cabin up in the hills here, back behind the Front Range, like I was saying, remember? And we could have gone there today and been happy to be holed up together with a pile of dry firewood and a good wood stove. A comfy bed, if a little small, here, can you fit if you snooch up real close? There. And what were you saying I say. And what happened then? You are telling me some great story that just goes on and on and gets better as it goes, me holding you, arms wrapped around and I'm starting to drift, because there is nothing I like better than a good story and I fall asleep to them so I'll never have to hear the ending. So relaxed and I'm dreaming something that goes along with your voice, odd things beginning to happen in the plot, like why suddenly so many elephants? Or us walking by some lake in some forest the sun going down and just looking at each other in a way that says... what? and when I wake up you are looking down on me sleeping there with that exact same look. Me looking back at you.

I was just dreaming this, only there was a lake where the stove is, I say. Oh really, you say. How big? Here, let me show you I say and I start drawing a map of the dream on your belly. It begins here. Yes. and then it sort of curves around down to here. Yes! And then it loops back around up to these mountains, here. Those aren't mountains, you say. Well, just pretend for now that they're mountains. Suspend your disbelief. And you say, you're not going to get all theological on me at a time like this, are you? But you also say, oh alright, they're mountains then, and then what? Then, I say, a BIG FLOOD comes! Making waves all over you, demonstrating. Oooh, that is big, you say. Did it flood all the way down to the southern end? What, down here you mean? I say. Yes it did in fact. Down here, showing you where, is where the flooding actually began. But you're skeptical. I thought it was from all the rain, you say. No, I explain, it was from a giant trouser snake that got loose somehow from the local zoo. Of course, being the curious type, you want me to show you where the zoo is. I do, but you say wait a minute, the snake is still here! So it is, I say. must have come back here after the BIG FLOOD. This is not enough for you, though. Explanations are never enough. I don't get it how a snake can cause a flood you say. Show me. You're from Missouri. On the map. Well, I say, it starts with a lot of wind up here in the mountain region. And rain. I make it rain on your mountains and then blow across them. A cooling wind. Refreshing. Oh, that's nice you say. I can feel the waters rising already. Yes, I say, now you begin to understand what part the snake plays in it. Not really, you say, where does he go? He goes in this cave here, see? First he just sticks his head in there to have a look around. Snakes like it all wet, so he has to make sure. He can feel that it's nice and wet, so he goes in a little further. I like this snake you say. He has the right attitude. Yes, he does, doesn't he? And encouraged by your enthusiasm for the story, I get a little deeper into it. He flicks out his tongue. You know that snakes can smell in the dark with their tongues, right? Oh yes, I know, you say. Does he do it a lot? He has to, I say. To get his bearings. The snake tastes something good, right at the entrance to the cave and so there's a whole lot of tongue flicking and tasting going on. I can see that, you say. And you say, Oh! I say, and see, what was just a tiny stream is turning into a pretty good creek. Ummm, you say. Yes! But actually, I say, it starts way up here, where your eyes are. Looking to check. You looking back. I touch between your eyebrows. In here. And something about the looking makes the snake and the map and everything evaporate, and I am fucking your sweet cunt deeper, you thrusting up onto me, helping it, sucking and eating my cock into you. Oh yes. Sliding together so well so deep your well. until... oh starting to. Yes. There. Ah girl your puss your cunt your eyes your tits and energy circling us right through, deeper and stronger and you begin to go and feeling it inside you gripping me pulling me feeling you going I am going oh oh shooting all of it up into you into our spasm oh coming oh coming oh come with me come with you.

[...white light...]

Let me catch my breath, you say gasping, me gasping too. Oh! Oh! That was a hell of a story, you say. Tell it to me again.

3:34 AM | link |

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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

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