Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Instant Recall - for Lauren
It is hard to imagine you being gone.
Far easier myself.
Not left for some long trip
or even moved away to another place,
but gone somewhere no one can say:
not coming back.

We know death is real.
We know it waits for us
no matter how good we have been,
no matter how worthy
or how hard we may have tried to understand.
It is not its cruelty
that prevents imagination
but a sadness too large to fit
these rented rooms,
these borrowed bodies,
these eyes I see you with today.

So I picture how you'd see me
looking back:
a man of foolish dreams
who nonetheless knew them
for what they were.
Lunch in the afternoon sometimes
with the baby asleep.
Maybe even watch the soaps
sitting in the big chair,
just to share a story
no matter how badly told.
Or a walk in the woods
by some lake we'd found.
Here, look:
can you see how the fish
are floating through the trees?
How the trees unfurl themselves
like the sky on fire?

A joke that neither of us could remember
hangs in the air of the empty room
like a lonely and speechless apparition
longing to touch your face,
to comfort again the wound
it could never cure.
But tried. And that was enough.
Joy always hurts the most to bid farewell.

These little things
that make our life
are precious to me
beyond all value.
This little time we have
cannot be weighed or measured
by any scale.
This one small life is as much
happiness as I can hold.

Sometimes I forget.

Today we will take a ride somewhere perhaps.
Today we are here together and alone.
And I cannot say to you what I really feel.
I do not know why this world is the way it is.
But I believe it is.
I feel it.
Oh remember me now, not later
when we can no longer speak or cry
for the dream we foolishly dream together now.

Remember I love you.


2:08 AM | link |



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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.


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