Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Monday, December 10, 2001
US public �disappointed� by Afghanistan anti-climax
Such is the concern at the White House that the American people have grown bored of Afghanistan that the State Department announced this morning it has given the green light to a Warner Brothers film about the war, provisionally titled Bin Laydown and die.

The film, starring George Clooney, Will Smith, Samuel L Jackson, Russell Crowe and a digitally-recreated Abraham Lincoln will follow a crack group of Navy Seals as they steal into Afghanistan, capture Mazar-e-Sharif, Kabul and finally Kandahar while handing out razors, Jimi Hendrix CDs and America flags.

Osama bin Laden proves a tricky nemesis, who the squad narrowly miss three times - once in a Kabul brothel - before finally catching up with him and the effeminate Mullah Omar in a dramatic final shoot-out in a cave where both Will Smith and Samuel Jackson meet a tearful, speech-making and violin-accompanied death. One of the white actors gets injured but doesn't die. The film will be directed by Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino and Tony Scott.

A State Department spokesman said at the press conference: "We will make the full resources of the United States Army available to Warner Brothers so they can make this film about our boys' bravery as realistic and widely available as possible. All we ask for in return is a completely inaccurate and biased version of the War on Terror� so our brainwashed citizens can go back to their little lives while we fuc*k over the rest of the world."


7:54 AM | link |



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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.


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